It’s becoming independent.
You have to work and pay for yourself
You have to wake up and motivate yourself
You have to remember when to eat and do homework and see your family
You realize you spend far too much time with your friends and far too little time with your family
Or vice versa
Or you realize you don’t have many friends.
Or all three, depending on the day.
And it’s constantly being surrounded by people.
It’s finding parties when you want to party.
Or chatting and sipping coffee if you want.
Or playing board games and watching chick flicks if you want.
It’s closing your door and laying in bed and listening to music if you want.
It’s going out of town at midnight on a school night because you feel like it.
It’s doing whatever you want, whenever you want.
It’s eating whenever you want
And showering at midnight
And going out and not coming back until 10AM
And doing laundry at 5am
Because that’s how you work with schedules.
And because you can.
College is so different lovelies. It is wonderful and liberating and I love it. Because you just do whatever you want to do to make yourself happy and succeed in life. Maybe. Unless you’re me. I like to put myself in situations that remind me of heartbreak, because I like the fun hanging out with people brings. I like to fall behind in homework, because I work too hard in certain areas and not enough in others. I like to stress myself out and do homework until 2 or 3 am and be exhausted all day but hangout with friends anyway.
I love everything, even if I need to work on priorities.
I am currently 7 chapters behind in reading and annotating my honors biology book.
I have to find and read and write a critique over a separate biology book of my choice.
I finished 2 modules of my online chemistry early, but then took a quiz and my progress went backwards. So now I’m behind instead of ahead.
I have a paper to write over a rap playlist but that requires time to listen to a rap playlist.
And I have no motivation to do anything.
I don’t want to complain, lovelies. But I used to be an honors student. What happened to me?
Anyway. College is great and so much better than high school :)